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People start to heal the moment they feel heard.
-Cheryl Richardson

Diana Milillo therapy counseling New York help mental health relationships

My Approach to Therapy

Clients often come to therapy because of their symptoms - feeling anxious, confused, depressed, trouble sleeping, addiction, not functioning at work, or discord in relationships.

One of the first things we do is to do a thorough intake assessmentwhich is to get clear on what your symptoms are and how to begin to stabilize the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are derailing.


But people are not their symptoms....

We are humans, not diagnoses.  While labels can be helpful and useful (especially to insurance companies!), diagnoses do not tell the story of who we are and where we come from.  In therapy, I take a non-pathologizing approach.  I believe that many symptoms are in fact parts that have evolved in us to serve some purpose.  For example, anxiety can be an "alarm" that we perceive something to be dangerous or scary.  The problem is, although they may have once helped us to survive, they often do not work to live out a healthy adult life.  I try to help folks not just get their symptoms under control, but look for the deeper possible causes to those symptoms.

People heal through relationships...

My approach to therapy is to go beyond treating symptoms.  I prefer to go deeper into my clients' histories and what made contributed to where they are in life now.  Specifically, I believe everything starts and ends with attachment.  Attachment is the bond we have with (often) a caregiver that gives us safety, security and ultimately a sense of self worth.  Sometimes though, people grow up with different amounts of safety, security, and consistency from those around them - and this affects the way they learn to see themselves, others (especially relationship partners), and the world at large.  Check out my video below for my short synopsis on attachment bonds and insecurity.

In therapy, while we work on the "issues," we are also working on a secondary process - that of building relationship.  It is often said that what transpires in therapy mimics the relationship issues on the outside world.  In therapy, I help model what safe and secure interpersonal relationships might look like, and we work together on how this can facilitate other positive outcomes in your day-to-day life.

What We Can Work On 

  • Parenting issues

  • Family conflict and communication

  • Relational (or complex) trauma

  • PTSD

  • Dealing with difficult people

  • Abuse / narcissistic abuse

  • Anxiety 

  • Depression

  • Guilt, shame

  • Self-esteem

  • Life changes

  • Coping with stress

  • Goals and future planning

  • Life changes

  • Coping with stress

  • Goals and future planning

Therapy counseling New York help mental health wellness

Types of Treatments Used

  • Internal Family Systems

  • Emotion Focused Individual Therapy

  • Schema Therapy

  • Person Centered 

  • Expressive Arts

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

  • Mindfulness-based

While some things about therapy are standard practice, often we can use a variety of "tools" or modalities.  For some people, talking is preferred.  For others, especially those who carry trauma histories, talk may not be enough or actually scary. We can use evidence-based practices that may best fit your needs.  I always try to be transparent about what we do in therapy and why.

"Once you start approaching your body with curiosity rather than with fear, everything shifts.”

-Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score

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